


Breakfast in Bed

by I_ran_out_of_books



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M, Misunderstandings, One Shot, Prompt Fic, Quickie, Quickies, Short & Sweet, Short One Shot, Smut, Suggestive Themes, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:27:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26214823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_ran_out_of_books/pseuds/I_ran_out_of_books
Summary: Arthur is a giant idiot who can't read and consequently mispronounces the word 'Quiche', this causes a big misunderstanding with Merlin.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 192





	Breakfast in Bed

**Author's Note:**

> I saw a meme text post that went like 
> 
> Person A: I'm in the mood for a quickie.
> 
> Person B: *Spitting out drink* It's pronounced quiche! 
> 
> So that's what this is based on. Look me in the eyes and tell me Merlin and Arthur aren't dumb enough to have this interaction, LOOK ME IN THE EYES! (-__-)

Merlin ran his hands roughly over his eyes and yawned. The birds perched on the spindly tree outside his bedroom window had deemed it time to wake up and they chirped enthusiastically at him to get his lazy arse out of bed. 

He rose from his cocoon of blankets and stepped into his fuzzy slippers all without opening his eyes, he was well versed in this sort of sleepwalking since he did it almost every morning. It wasn’t until he was brushing his teeth and still half asleep that his brain began registering the world around him. A loud thump and a curse had him jumping in his spot. He spit the foamy toothpaste out and rinsed it away in a hurry.

He wasn’t particularly afraid, he knew the source of the racket was his long time best friend and new roommate Arthur Pendragon, but to say that he wasn’t a little concerned would be a lie. With reluctance he made his way toward the living room sure he would find one of his belongings broken. He was in fact mistaken, what he found was far worse. 

Arthur stood in the center of their living room facing away from him. His broad back on display as water rivulets tracked down the path of his spine into the waistband of the sweatpants that hung loosely on his hips. The muscles of his upper back rippled as he roughly ran a towel over his hair. The golden strands turned dark with water remained mussed as he finished, giving him a windblown look that was just ridiculous, or at least Merlin thought so. Being that attractive while doing mundane tasks was hardly realistic. With little concern for the orderly living room Arthur tossed the towel onto the couch and turned, a smile brightening his face when he spotted Merlin. 

“Finally awake are we?” He teased in a manner that helped Merlin shake himself out of fantasy land. 

“Pfft- look who’s talking,” he countered and shook his head. On the best of days Merlin had to drag Arthur out of bed and now that he’d woken up earlier than Merlin once he was rubbing it in his face. 

“Actually I’ve been waiting for you to wake up,” Arthur said while nonchalantly scratching at his tummy, “You up for a quickie?” 

The wheels in Merlin’s brain came to a grinding halt. “...I - what?” 

Arthur didn’t register the way Merlin seemed to be malfunctioning and picked up his towel giving it a good shake and laying it out so it would dry instead of sit in a damp pile. “I’ve just been craving one since last night.” 

Now Merlin’s thoughts rammed into him like a freight train and he was left in his ratty pajamas and fuzzy slippers standing in front of this tanned God feeling shocked and exposed and utterly confused. “What the hell kind of question is that?!” He tried his best to attribute the reddening of his face and ears to indignation although he knew it was something else entirely. 

Now Arthur did register Merlin’s reaction and confusion bloomed on his face instantly, “A nice one?” 

“A nice one!” Merlin repeated, utterly baffled at Arthur’s nonchalance about all of this. “Where did this even come from? You were waiting up for me to ask for a quickie?!” He wanted to hide behind the sofa when Arthur’s eyes raked over his burning face but he stood his ground. 

“I told you I woke up in the mood for one!” Arthur exclaimed as if it were Merlin who was being crazy, “I found a video online last night when I couldn’t sleep and it looked good. When I woke up it popped into my mind and I thought I’d rather like to try it and you might too! Honestly Merlin, I don’t even know why I offer to do nice things for you.” 

With a huff at being interrogated Arthur began to stalk toward Merlin. 

“What are you doing?” Merlin yelped and backed away. Typically sex with Arthur seemed like a grand idea in his fantasies but this wasn’t quite what he’d imagined. At the moment he was immensely confused and quite frankly he didn’t appreciate Arthur’s flippant attitude. It was kind of a big deal and he made it seem like it meant nothing. 

Merlin’s frantic question stopped Arthur in his tracks and he scowled at him as if he’d lost his mind. “I’m going to have a quickie. You don’t have to have any if you don’t want to! Jesus Christ just forget I asked.” With that Arthur walked right past him. 

Merlin couldn’t help regret watching Arthur pass. He didn’t want anything between them to be quick and meaningless but then again it was Arthur and it was an offer of sex and he wouldn’t exactly mind, besides the thought of Arthur going off to find someone else may have irked him just a bit. “Well I didn’t say all that did I? Just hold on a minute!” 

Now Arthur stopped on his way toward the kitchen and turned to face Merlin. He was very puzzled as to why Merlin was having such a strong reaction to all of this. Of course, Merlin was a sensitive man on the best of days but this was strange even for him. “What now?” He watched as Merlin fidgeted in his spot with a flush covering his face and running under the loose fabric of his pajama shirt. Arthur yanked his focus away from Merlin’s chest and chastised himself mentally. 

“Are you angry?” Merlin finally asked. It wasn’t the only thing he wanted to say but he did think it was the most important. He didn’t want this to become a thing between them, he knew how proud Arthur could be and he hoped he wasn’t taking the shock as an attack on his ego. Their friendship was more important to Merlin than anything else. 

Now Arthur began to consider their interaction. Perhaps he’d done something to upset Merlin and not even realized it, he did it often enough anyway. “Not really … are you?” 

Merlin opened his mouth then closed it a few times. “I don’t think so …” 

Arthur wished he wasn’t so thick when it came to feelings and that Merlin wasn’t such a giant girl about them but he supposed since they were living together it was important that they learn to communicate effectively so he made the effort, “Did I upset you?” 

Merlin’s eyes ran over Arthur’s strong chest and toned abs and slipped over his grey sweatpants. He let his gaze fall to the floor, trying to disguise his ogling although he didn’t know why he bothered when Arthur was so blatant about what he’d wanted. “Upset isn’t the word … maybe very surprised is more like it. I didn’t think you liked,” Now he gestured vaguely in a way he hoped conveyed the word _Men_ and knew his ears were bright red. Discussing Arthur’s sexuality was something they’d never done before.

Arthur nodded as if he understood. He was quite proud of himself really for being calm and diffusing the situation. Merlin seemed to be returning to himself a bit and Arthur continued his endeavour to be courteous and conversational, perhaps Merlin had simply gotten up on the wrong side of the bed as they say. 

“Well I’ve never had one before but what’s not to like?” he said and smiled hoping to bring Merlin even farther from his foul mood. When Merlin gave him a confused and small smile he felt it was safe to continue toward the kitchen. 

“Oh … well that’s - yeah, I agree,” Merlin said eloquently as he followed behind Arthur. He was surprised Arthur was so open about this but pleased anyway. Maybe this could actually go somewhere.

“I’m sorry for assuming you wanted to try it,” Arthur said as he opened the fridge and bent over to grab the eggs, “I didn’t think it’d upset you, out of the two of us you’ve always been more adventurous so I didn’t think a quickie was where you drew the line.” 

Merlin looked up at the ceiling to avoid the temptation of staring at Arthur’s well defined arse. He tried to process all that Arthur was saying but he really wasn’t making it easy. “It’s not the quickie as much as it is who’s offering,” He finally managed as Arthur straightened up. He never thought they’d be able to have such an honest conversation but he could appreciate Arthur’s openness and return it to the best of his ability. 

“Oh very funny, Merlin,” he said absently as he searched for something. “Have we got a baking dish?” Arthur asked with his head in one of the cupboards. 

“I don’t know,” Merlin answered as he stared at Arthur’s belly go taunt when he reached up and moved heavy dishes around. The increasingly frustrated clattering helped Merlin reel in his mind. 

Arthur gave a little grunt and then a triumphant sound as he set a glass baking dish on the counter. “My lack of expertise in this area doesn’t mean it won’t be good, Merlin,” He said and looked at Merlin right in the eyes, his eyebrows rising in challenge. 

“Jesus,” Merlin breathed and looked away. He didn’t know how much longer he could resist. “I wasn’t saying that, just that I don’t think it’d be a good idea.” 

Arthur could see Merlin’s apprehension breaking down. He smiled wickedly and wiggled his eyebrows, “Come on,” he said walking over and bumping Merlin with his shoulder. 

Merlin’s face steadily began to pick up color and a choked sound escaped his chest. Arthur couldn’t help but laugh, his friend really was infinitely strange. He moved away from Merlin and returned to the fridge to collect vegetables. He placed bell peppers and tomatoes on the counter and turned to look for a knife. 

“Are you sure?” Merlin asked as Arthur rummaged through drawers. 

I’m going to have to organize this mess, Arthur thought to himself as he searched through a clutter of silverware. He dug and dug until his fingertips came into contact with the sharp edge of a knife. “Yes!” He exclaimed as he found it. It only occurred to him then that Merlin had asked a question. 

He didn’t want to be scolded for not paying attention. Arthur cautiously faced Merlin, examining his expression for clues. He looked much calmer than he had at the beginning of their conversation but he worried his bottom lip between his teeth. Arthur scoffed and shook his head fondly, Merlin could be such a worry wart. “Why are you so nervous?” he asked, approaching the man who stood leaning a hip against the counter and looking as if he might pass out. 

“What do you mean why am I so nervous?” Merlin asked incredulously, “Why aren’t you?” His eyes ran up Arthur’s body as he neared. He’s gorgeous, Merlin thought, and lust began to bloom in his belly. Still, he couldn’t help the insecurity that tickled the back of his mind, “You’ve never done this before, what if you hate it?” 

Once again Arthur was thrown, Merlin was really taking all this very seriously. Arthur almost wanted to be offended, just because he’d never made a quickie before didn’t mean he’d mess it all up, he wasn’t completely incompetent. Still, something about the way that Merlin seemed genuinely concerned stopped him from being insulted. He’d just gotten Merlin to stop yelling at him over the quickie, he didn’t want to upset him all over again. “Look I’ve never had it before but I know what I like and I really don’t think I’m going to hate it.” 

“Ok,” Merlin finally agreed, his voice slightly wavering. 

That’s more like it, Arthur thought, Merlin was finally coming around. “Promise it’ll be good, afterall I am amazing at everything,” Arthur joked with a wink and a laugh. 

Merlin was sure he would die any moment. Never in a million years would he have thought Arthur would be so confident and playful when it came to sex, he didn’t know how to handle it. “That’s awfully cocky,” he said, opting for the comfortable land of teasing he knew well, “What if _I_ don’t like it.” 

“Oh you’ll love it,” Arthur assured him, “But I’m not doing all the work. Can you start the oven?” 

For the first time since they began speaking Merlin registered that Arthur was moving about, clearly on a mission to do something. “What are you doing?” He couldn’t believe Arthur could speak so casually about sex and cook at the same time. This was not how he imagined being roommates would be. 

Now Arthur turned to him with an exasperated sigh, “I just told you what I’m doing! What has gotten into you this morning, Merlin?” 

“Into me?” Merlin spluttered because really he didn’t feel he was the one being crazy. 

Arthur’s lips thinned as he stared at Merlin with frustration. He walked closer and placed his hands on Merlin’s thin shoulders. “We have to preheat the oven,” he spoke slowly and clearly staring into Merlin’s eyes to drive his point home, “To make a quickie.” He was ready for Merlin to burst into an angry rant about how Arthur was a condescending prat but instead Merlin reeled back in shock. 

“Ok,” He said shaking his head and holding a finger in the air as if asking the universe to pause for a moment, “Ok, let me get this straight. You are going to _make_ a quickie in the oven?” 

Now Arthur really did begin to feel concern for Merlin, as much as he teased him for being thick he wasn’t usually this slow. “Yes?” 

“Arthur, what do you think a quickie is?” Merlin asked in a choked voice. 

“You know,” Arthur replied like Merlin was the biggest idiot on the face of the Earth, “The egg dish you bake in the oven? You can put different stuff in it depending on what you like?” 

Merlin’s hands came up to cover his face with a slap. “Oh God!” He yelled although the sound was muffled by his palms. 

Arthur’s hands dropped away from Merlin’s slender shoulders and he stared at his friend. “Alright, I don’t know what’s going on but I’m very hungry and you’re being an idiot so-” 

“Me the idiot?” Merlin yelled, his hands flying away from his face and waving frantically in the air. “It’s pronounced ‘keesh’! NOT quickie, Arthur. Q-u-i-c-h-e ‘KEESH’!” 

“That’s ridiculous!” Arthur exclaimed and took out his phone from his pocket. He tapped at the screen furiously, ready to prove Merlin wrong and end the silly argument. “What kind of nonsense word even is quiche??” 

From where he stood Merlin could see the results loading and small thumbnails of quiche recipes popping up on Arthur’s screen. He thought he was going to vomit or punch Arthur or both. 

Arthur began to read out the spelling on his phone with the kind of confidence that only comes with stupidity, “Q-U-I-C-” 

“Go on,” Merlin said, leaning toward Arthur with narrowed eyes. 

Arthur kissed his teeth and shoved the phone into his pocket, “Oh, don’t you dare be so smug! So I misread the word, big deal!” 

“OH HO HO!” Merlin laughed and spun around on his heel, hands crossed over his chest. He looked up at the ceiling and shook his head. “It is in fact a big deal!” 

“Why are you such a drama queen?” Arthur grouched and began to chop the bell peppers with curt little movements of the knife. “You know what. No quiche for you!” Arthur announced, enunciating quiche more than necessary. 

The sound of the knife's click click click against the cutting board was the only answer Arthur received. He tried to ignore Merlin standing a few feet away, still looking in the opposite direction but he couldn’t. Merlin’s shoulders were shaking and little chuckles burst from him every few seconds. Arthur had no doubt Merlin was barely trying to hide his laughter. Arse. 

He dropped the knife with a clutter and went to preheat the oven, a task Merlin should’ve been doing except he was too busy laughing at Arthur still. The oven beeped high pitched rebukes as Arthur angrily adjusted the heat and time. 

“You-” Merlin said, finally turning only to reveal barely restrained tears of laughter, “You thought a quickie and a quiche were the same thing.” 

“It’s a two letter difference!” Arthur yelled, throwing his hands up in exasperation. Finally he met Merlin’s face and for several moments they stood looking at one another. Then burst out laughing. 

“You asked me for a quickie!” Merlin yelled in between bouts of laughter and held onto the counter for support. 

Arthur chuckled right along, finally seeing the funny side of it. He had thought it was a silly name for a food but he reasoned it away.”No wonder you were so freaked out,” Arthur said in between laughs. 

“I know!” Merlin yelled, “I thought I was having an aneurysm.” He didn’t bother regulating his laughter now that Arthur seemed to understand just how funny it all was. However, after some time he realized he was laughing alone. He wiped at his eyes and leaned a hip against the counter once more, right hand resting on his sore stomach muscles. 

Through his blurry vision he saw Arthur almost frozen, knife in hand and face conflicted. He looked as if he were trying to do mental maths. “You thought I was asking to have sex,” he said outloud. 

Merlin snorted.

“... and you said yes.” 

Now it was Merlin’s turn to stand frozen. He felt as if he would die when Arthur turned and looked him in the eye. “Um-” 

A grin began to overtake Arthur’s previously confused face. “Is it actually possible that Merlin wants to shag little ol’ me?” 

“Oh God you are so _obnoxious_ , you couldn’t PAY me to fuck with you.” 

Arthur laughed the laugh that Merlin loved so dearly. “Merlin wants to fuck me, Merlin wants to fuck me,” Arthur sang to the tune of the univeral song for mocking people. 

“You’re the worst,” Merlin said and turned to leave, face bright red. 

A hand wrapped loosely around Merlin’s thin wrist, he froze in place unsure if he could turn around and face his best friend. Arthur pulled him back softly, ensuring that if Merlin really wanted to leave he could. “Merlin look at me,” he said, voice soft but still full of amusement. 

Merlin gathered all his courage and forced his limbs to turn him around. Standing face to face with Arthur he wasn’t sure it had been the right decision. The natural charm that Arthur always exuded seemed to be turned to its highest setting and his sky blue eyes ran deep into his own. 

“Unlike a quiche,” Arthur began with humor edging his tone, “Men are nothing new to me.” 

Merlin’s eyebrows went up of their own volition. Arthur had always been quite private about his private life, even when it came to talking with Merlin so he hadn’t really known whether Arthur was straight or not. Apparently it was the latter. 

Arthur lifted a hand and placed it neatly against the side of Merlin’s neck, he could feel the pulse racing under his fingers. “I’m sorry for teasing you, I know you know I’m better at that than actually talking,” he gave a self deprecating huff, “But all jokes aside, I like you, and I hope this means you like me too.” 

The surety that had been there before cracked the slightest and Merlin could see his own fears mirrored within Arthur. He could barely stand to be held like this by the blond and his words had him floating a few inches above the kitchen tiles. “Maybe I do,” Merlin answered shakily. 

Arthur laughed and stepped back from Merlin, his hand slipping away from the heat of his neck. He knew exactly what that ‘maybe’ meant, he himself was fluent in emotionally constipated idiot. “Wanna talk about it over some quiche?” He asked and gestured behind him. 

Merlin nodded, still lost for words. 

“Good. You can be my sous chef.” He said and handed Merlin the knife before stepping away from the chopping block. 

Arthur began to crack eggs open and spill them into a bowl. He began the quest to find a whisk. 

“Hey, Arthur,” Merlin piped up. 

“Yeah?” 

“Want to have a quickie?” 

Arthur shot up so quickly he smashed the back of his head against a cupboard. 

Merlin cackled. “See? Not so funny when it happens to yo-” 

Merlin didn’t get to finish his sentence before strong arms were wrapping around his waist and hefting him up, whisking him out of the kitchen. 

“Fuck the quiche,” Arthur said and threw Merlin over his shoulder. 

“Or me,” the black haired man joked upside down, enjoyed his view of Arthur’s tight arse in his sweats. 

Two hours later Arthur was running out of Merlin’s bed room, sheet wrapped around his waist and love bites strewn over his body. Behind him Merlin was trying to step into his boxers and hopping out the bedroom on one foot. 

“THE OVEN ARTHUR!” 

They did not get to have quiche that day.


End file.
